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Relationship: Why It Is Important To Address The ‘Ex’ Factor

By KOKO TV

Talking about a past relationship with a new love interest can be uncomfortable and a little bit awkward but research shows that there are some benefit to this. Experts say the individual growth that leads to healthy, stable relationships begins with heartbreaks, and one of the best ways to turn past disappointments into future relationship successes is to share these experiences with your new partner. Here are a few reasons why bringing up the past may not be a bad thing after all

Recalling Past Relationship Mistakes Helps You Avoid Making Them Again: This has to do with how we remember events from a past relationship after it has ended. The brain has a way of recalling aspects of the relationship we might have gotten wrong and in the process of relating this events to a new person, we are likely to spot our defects and inevitably avoid them in the future.

It Helps Your New Partner Understand Who You Are Now:  Talking about your exes can help you communicate to your new partner how you grew into the person you are today. Often, romantic relationships serve as learning experiences that let you test the boundaries of your interests and needs. Reflecting on a past relationship can even help you find out something about yourself that you may have missed during the relationship and breakup.
It Helps You Build Trust And Encourage Open Communication: Rather than crossing out any reference to an ex or previous love interest, talking about a previous relationship ‘in moderation’ can go a long way in developing trust especially if it is done sincerely. Couples who openly talk about their past tend to have a better communication channel as they learn what is and is not acceptable to part parties.
The beginning of a new relationship may not be the best time to drop the ex bomb. There’s no hard and fast rule when it comes to timing, but you probably want to give a relationship time to develop before adding in any emotional third parties — i.e., avoid talk of your ex on the first date. If you want to get your brain geared up for a new attachment you need to build your partnership and put the past aside for at least a little while so you two can have your own set of experiences and goals.

Photo Credit: Getty

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