Dear Aunty Aurora,
My story is a bit long but I will try to cut it short. My name is Gift and I am presently schooling in South Africa. I am Nigerian but for the past three years I have been dating this Liberian guy who goes to the same school as I. We have made a lot of memories together here and though we have always talked about getting married after school, one hindrance to that plan might be the fact that our families stay in different countries. We are both wrapping up plans for school and the need to find a solution has become more urgent for us.
My family is already asking me when I will be coming back to Nigeria finally and I have kept on giving excuses. I am an only child and I know my parents will never allow me stay back here and make a life for myself because they believe I am too young at 22 years. My boyfriend on the other hand has been able to convince his parents to allow him stay with the promise that he will visit home as much as possible. Now it seems like I am the one with all the issues. Please what should I do? I really love this guy and I don’t want to loose him.
Gift, South Africa.
You really need to calm down and think about all your options and if you are really ready to take such a big step immediately after school. I agree with your parents that you are still quite young but I am not talking in terms of age but in terms of your readiness to settle down when you haven’t really had time to experience the world for yourself. There are a lot of things you can still do while you try to figure out something that will work for you and your boyfriend. The world has so much for you to experience and I really do think its better you hold on with the marriage plans for now. Asides this, I think you and your boyfriend have only known each other as students, maybe you should try and sort out work and maybe further education plans first. If you are still convinced that you are truly ready to marry, the first thing you have to do is convince them that you are mature enough. How do you do that? Have a mature talk with them and make them see reasons with you. If you can convince them, then maybe you are really ready for marriage after all.
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Dear Aunty Aurora,
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