Thursday, March 30, 2023

Relationship: Can Your Love Story Survive Without Trust?

Trust forms one of the major foundational blocks on which relationships are built. It is non-negotiable and a must for any love story to thrive. However, having a partner with trust-issues doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed to failure; at least not yet, but it makes things a whole lot more complicated. Dating someone who has been hurt in a previous relationship or had a difficult childhood, can be an up-hill task because you inadvertently end up being the unsuspecting partner who has to be the super-hero and help them trust again.
There are a few things you need to keep in mind before you jump onto the trust-fixer express. Most importantly, you need to know going in that the work of overcoming trust issues is your partner’s job, not yours. So the following suggestions are meant for you. You also need to keep in mind that this is a long (potentially life-long) process that will have its ups and downs. You’ll need to have your own support system on deck. Here are few tips you need to tide you over
Be A Supporter And Not A Fixer:You can’t fix your partner’s trust issues, no matter how much you want to. It’s impossible and it’s not your job. What you need to focus on instead is being part of a solid support system. Leave the fixing to your partner and a good therapist. 
Be Trustworthy: Trust is earned, and hard-earned in this case. Since you can’t fix your partner, this is something you can actively work on that will improve your relationship. Be dependable, be reliable, be honest and be kind. Little things like being on time and calling when you say you’ll call may seem small to you, but they may be huge to your partner. 
Be Patient: Whatever bad things happened to your partner aren’t going to going away overnight. And you certainly can’t just say “you can trust me” and expect a complete turn-around. Odds are, if you’re trying, so is your partner. Setbacks will happen and they’ll hurt him or her just as much as they hurt you. Take it slow and build something solid.
Be Loving And Reassure: Kindness and caring, loving support will demonstrate that you aren’t just all talk. It’s likely he or she has been mistreated in the past, maybe multiple times, so some sincere love and support will be hard to accept at first, and even harder to get used to as something that occurs on a regular basis. Keep doing it.
Do Not Tolerate Abuse: There are trust issues and then there’s straight-up abuse. It’s one thing for your partner to be worried that you’ll leave and break his or her heart. It’s quite another to monitor your phone calls, tell you who you can’t hang out with and constantly accuse you of cheating. If your partner’s trust issues lead to she or he trying to have power and control over you, you have a much larger issue on your hands — one that’s often best resolved by leaving.

Photo Credit: Getty

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